Panic stations!

My head hurts. It’s already May and after almost a year of coasting happily through my maternity leave in a haze of sleepless nights, leaky boobs, early morning snuggles, giggles and coffee by the shitload it’s suddenly hit me like a 10 tonne truck that next month I will not only have a 1 year old, I will also be dragging my butt back to work. Now had you asked me 3 months ago how I was feeling about this I may have burst into tears on the spot but actually I’m now a lot more positive and almost, dare I say it looking forward to getting back into a little routine. I’m going back 3 days in the hope I can maintain some sort of work/home balance and more importantly still function day to day as I have a baby who refuses to sleep through the night. That is one thing on a very long, muddled list entitled “Shit I need to get done” I’m also currently in the middle of planning my best friends hen do, now I love her and am super excited about it all but Christ, does she not know me at all?! I literally couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery. Luckily! (For her) I have enlisted fellow bridesmaid and bestie H to be chief venue/events booker whilst I take care of the important stuff like plastic willy straws and “L” plates. In addition to my hen planning I’ve got to somehow wean my little darling off the boob, I’m proud that I’ve achieved over 10 months and it irks me when people ask if I’m “still breastfeeding” or seem shocked when they find out I am. I don’t ask you if you’re “still feeding” your kid 3 meals a day do I? However, I’ve decided that I’d like to claim my body back (and wear nice bras again) plus I’m going to Spain for part one of our hen do and will be sans baby for 3 whole nights!! Not really feeling the whole breastpump in the hand luggage deal, popping into loos on a night out to pump and dump…been there done that and quite frankly I’m over it. My problem is the night time comfort feeding, I admit it’s partly down to laziness…she stirs, rather then get up and settle her I roll over (yep, we are unintentional co-sleepers) and voila she’s back to sleep in a flash. We all get the maximum amount of snoozy time and everyone’s happy! So if anyone has any tips on how I can get this girl off the boob and sleeping all night, preferably with minimal fuss hit me up! (Not asking much am I!?)

  Also my eldest E is off on his first school residential next week to Dorset, he’s never been away from home other than the odd sleepover and has suffered in the past with mild anxiety and PTSD (but that’s for another post) so as you can imagine I’m having mixed emotions as is he. When I asked him if he had any questions about the trip he asked “do I have to go?” Cue massive gulp and wobbly lip from me. But we are staying very casual and positive about it all and I’m practising my best smile and wave from behind sunglasses so he can’t see my tears when we wave them off next Monday. Something tells me this may be the making of my biggest baby, watch this space. 

 So with hen dos, night weaning and a first birthday approaching, not to mention back to work, summer holidays and then secondary school applications my head feels a bit like a washing machine on spin at the moment. But every time the panic sets in I quickly remind myself the majority of these stresses are what  we call “first world problems” like there could be worse things to do with my time than plan cake smash photoshoots and find “butlers in the buff” (Not for the same party, but imagine that!) 
Come Septemper I will be ready for my #MEternityleave. (HA!) 


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